How To Support The Enneagram Types in Your Life (3/3)

How the weeks go by! We are already in December and also in the last of this series where we explore how best to support the different Enneagram Types in your life.

We have given ways to help the Types 4s, 5s and 6s in your life in last week’s post and the Types 7s, 8s and 9s in the previous week.

We turn our focus on the Type 1s, 2s and 3s in your life. How best can we support them in a way that would allow them to be seen and heard by you?

Buckle up and let’s explore that together!

Type 1s – How do I support them?

The Type 1s are the disciplined, structured pillar of your life. In their ongoing search for ‘the’ right way, sometimes Type 1s cannot see beyond their own faults and descend into internally critiquing themselves. How can we help them from not being so tough on them and in the process help them see that imperfections in life can be beautiful as well?

Here are some ways:

  • Take them out for drinks. It is true that a nice tipple with good friends would do anyone good. But for a Type 1, it may come across as more of a reprieve from their endless search for wanting things to be orderly. If you sense that your Type 1 friend needs to ease some of the tensions from their very orderly and structured life, invite them out for a drink (or two) and help them unwind;
  • Bring them out for walks in nature. For these perfectionists at heart, bringing them out to walk amongst trees and mountains would be a great way for them to immerse in the beauty of imperfection that Mother Nature has to offer. Show the Type 1 that a mountain is beautiful in its own right as it stands firm and majestically in the horizon. Just like how they are for people in their lives, steady, firm and beautifully created.
  • Go on a ‘spontaneity’ outing with them. Type 1s need to learn how to let loose and let their hair down once in awhile. So maybe, if you are feeling confident enough, tell the Type 1 in your life that you will go out with them to do anything they want for that day and do it with them. Let them decide where to go and what to do and just go along for the ride!

Type 2s – How do I support them?

Type 2s often focus on helping the people around them and they do so wholeheartedly. But in that process,  they tend to forget their own needs (or even not see their own needs on purpose). This leads them to be burnt out and moody.

How then can we help the Type 2s in your life to not get to the stage of burn out?

Here are some ways:

  • Remind them to rest. Type 2s are very focused on the others for the others around them, so telling them to rest for themselves won’t ever register for them. So in order for you to remind them to rest, tell them this “Rest now so that you can help more people around you.” This will help them see the importance of taking a break to rest for themselves.
  • Help them see that focusing on their own work will also be of help to others. Sometimes the Type 2 in the office is so caught up in helping with other people’s projects, that they neglect the job that they have been hired for because they are on the brink of burn out. So before you head into why they should do their own jobs (and not everyone else’s), be sure to sincerely validate their helpfulness first, then give the feedback why it is important for them to also do their own jobs well. It may sound something like this, “Thank you for being so helpful to your colleagues but we would also know that if you did your job well, then you would also be helping more people in the company.”
  • Give them a sincere “Thank you” for the help they have given you. Type 2s are relational creatures and so when they help you, it is because they care for you as a colleague, a friend, a partner, a family member. So, saying a sincere ‘thank you’ would not only make their day but also allow them to feel that someone cares enough to take some time out of their day to even say ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ to them.

Type 3s – How do I support them?

Type 3s are often energized by work and when they lock onto a goal, you can be sure they would be putting their heart and soul in achieving those goals. How then can we get them to relax and recharge from their work intensive lives?

Here are some ways:

  • Schedule a day of relaxation for them (and you). As Type 3s often live their lives to a schedule, times of relaxation must also be put into that schedule. The Type 3s won’t ever fit in a day of relaxation, so you will have to be the one to take the lead on this. Tell them that you are going to schedule a day of relaxation for them (a day at a spa or a staycation etc) and do it. The Type 3s may not admit it at first but they would appreciate that someone cares enough to do that for them.
  • Celebrate their successes with them. Type 3s often forget their past achievements in the busyness of going on to the next one on their lists. But it is also important for these Type 3s to see how far they have come and that every achievement is worth celebrating. So bring them out for a nice dinner or a night at a bar where they can hang loose and just celebrate everything they have worked hard for.
  • Encourage them to become more of a human ‘being’ and less of a human ‘doing’. Type 3s are all about the ‘go go go!’ mentality and in the process, they forget to just be in the moment to smell the coffee. Schedule in a time for them to just be with friends and talk about anything else but work. This may take some practice for a Type 3 but in the long run, this will help them to slow down and see that life is not all about work. Remind them that they are loved for who they are and not just what they do.

So at the end of the day, all these suggested ways to help the different Enneagram Types in our lives is to love them in the way that validates them and allows them the experience of being seen and loved for who they are and not just what they do.

We hope that this series will help bring you and the different Enneagram Types in your life closer.

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Ever wondered why you are the way you are? Why not contact us today to find out how the Enneagram can help you understand that. Plus, skillsFuture credits can be used to offset the cost, so what are you waiting for?!

9 Corporate Personality Types You Need To Know How To Deal With

Enneagram, a roadmap to understanding human behavior, has a history of over 2500 years. An elegant way to explore differences in personality in relationships, it has been proven to be highly effective for business management, personal development and conflict management. It categorizes each person according to prevalence in nine different personality types, with each having a dominant type.

This enables individuals to predict behavior in personal relationships and corporate life. See if any of these descriptions of Enneagram types in the workplace perfectly encapsulate your colleagues or friends or even yourself!

Type 1 – The Perfectionist

Type 1s tend to have a need to be perfect, accurate and precise . Do you have a colleague that likes schedules, accountability and a clear list of roles and responsibilities? He is probably a type 1 personality. This type tends to thrive when there is clear rules and standards. They are meticulous and keep high standards and they probably perform well. You might want to try to keep up with their way of doing things.

Priding themselves in being the most competent, and being able to do things with high standards, this type often compares their own effort to others and will aim to put themselves hard to be the best that they can. In needing to be perfect, this type may avoid risks and may shift the blame to others if they see or do something wrong to keep up their “track record” of being right. A good way to deal with them will be to offer alternatives and giving them the credit for “perfecting” other alternatives to fit the needs of different ones.

Type 2 – The Helper

Type 2s are very giving. Motivated by their need to be needed, they are often generous, kind and always ever ready to help. They are probably one of the friendliest, accepting and sensitive colleagues at your office. But you may find that they seldom ask for help because they always want to be of help to you instead. Highly responsive to approval and encouragement, they work for the respect of others, especially those that are important in their field. In their desire to always be supportive, they may find it hard to say no, causing them to take on too many projects at once. You may find them not willing to collect money from you after buying a meal for you, and that’s the time you have to insist on paying them, or reciprocate the next time. Try not to take them for granted.

Type 3 – The Achiever

Also known as the performer or producer, type 3s place their self-confidence and worth in being able to achieve things and be successful. They are efficient and want a clear path to success. They are motivated in getting respect for their abilities. Image conscious, they enjoy tasks that put them at the forefront of projects, by doing presentations and having leadership roles. They enjoy exerting power over people and take life as a competition. If tasks and goals become interrupted or their appearance take a hit, they will then be driven by rage and may even resort to deceitful tactics to get their way. A good way to deal with them is to always put them in a good light and help them speak about their vulnerabilities.

Type 4 – The Individualist

While type 1 and type 3s aim to do well on performance evaluations, type 4s base their success on producing quality work that is filled with authenticity, depth, insight and meaning. They tend to be the authentic type who are expressive and in touch with their feelings. However, their attention potentially gets displaced from tasks when their emotions take over and their efficiency is tied to their mood. With their easily changeable moods and the need for distinctive work, they do not flourish in an environment that requires close co-operation with others who are more skilled, valued, or better paid.

Type 5 – The Investigator

This personality type is one of the most knowledgeable people you were meet. Objective, analytical and logical, type 5s are great problem solvers since they gather all the information and withdraw to figure things out before making a decision. By equipping themselves with information and appearing competent, they work hard for the rewards of privacy and freedom to pursue personal interests. Needing predictability, they tend to freeze when unexpectedly questions or when spontaneous reactions are called for.

Type 6 – The Loyalist

Type 6s are relatively skeptical and need security. To them, the world is dangerous and trustworthy allies are hard to come by. They look for a leader which they can follow after, but may become shaky and flee, or rebel when the leadership fail them. They are great supportive team players that have strong analytical powers. Their doubt and suspicion of the others causes them to question and examine situations to gain clarity. Extreme versions of this type potentially react against their own weaknesses by seeking protection from authority or ironically bring authority down.

Type 7 – The Enthusiast

Instead of trying to get as much information about what they know like type 5s, type 7s look to explore new ideas and get new experiences. They see the world with intense enthusiasm and optimism. This is the type of person who wins the popularity poll in the office. They can be a delight to work with, being both forgiving and creative during periods of stress. They offer sweet solutions to authority problems. However, instead of confronting issues head on, they rather go through the cracks and instead of solving the root of the problem. Their creativity may give rise to great, inspirational ideas, but may result in impractical and inefficient approaches they may be insistent about.

Type 8 – The Challenger

Speaking of insistence and convicted stances on issues, type 8s are similarly authoritative and seek power. They often control the office hierarchy and will assume leadership. They may demand to be fully informed. Although they may seem to be angry, their anger is not personal, but often directed at the situation at hand. They hold no grudges towards in-office conflict and believe work is just work. In spite of being assertive, they often respect honest leadership and like worthy opponents if you have logical arguments.

Type 9 – The Peacemaker

Finally, we have the empathetic, easy going type 9 that loves to avoid conflict. This means that they often aim to mediate, sitting on fences and thus getting caught in the middle of sides. They also make good social gel because people are open to them. They enjoy procedures, lines of command and good definition. They flourish when people support them, but this makes them cautionary in taking risks as they fear the outcome may be disliked by some. Tending to major on minor issues, they may feel overwhelmed with too much to do.

Capitalize on the Enneagram to Work Better with your Colleagues

Getting an understanding of who you are working with, their tendencies, and your own, is the key to workplace effectiveness. By knowing how to deal with each type, you can not only optimize your team performance, but also manage your expectations and emerge happier regardless of how difficult your colleagues may be. Stay tuned for more ways to deal with these personalities as bosses, co-workers, or clients!

Beyond Paper Credentials

THIS WEEK’S TOPIC When hiring executive staff, how open would you be, as an employer, to ditching altogether academic qualifications as an indicator of cognitive ability and potential? How would you assess an aspiring employee?

IN our business, the ability to build relationships with our stakeholders is very important. Thus, apart from intelligence and cognitive ability, we are always looking for how much EQ – Emotional and Empathy Quotient – a person possesses. The person has to be “people intelligent” and not only “book intelligent”.

We are also looking for talent with an internal locus of control. Someone who is not a believer that he/she can “make things happen” will be less of a problem solver and will be relatively less effective at work. We also look for talent who are highly self-initiated and motivated. They are always up to something, curious about something, and working on a self-initiated project. And honestly, these traits are caught, and not taught in school.

Cindy Leong
Founder
Relationship Studio


This article is featured in The Business Times on 27 May 2018.

Enneagram and Politics – What’s in Store for a Type 5 Politician?

Let us continue this exploratory session of how certain Enneagram Types would fare well as politicians. As the clock ticks, we are closer to the fateful agenda of election day in Singapore of 2020.

We often see various leaders being publicised (and criticised) in the past, present, and even future. More often than not, campaigning candidates will already present a perception for the world stage to judge.

Pleasing everyone is near impossible and this is a reminder to all that each of the 9 Enneagram Types has the capability to be the captain of a ship. However, it truly is dependent on the Type’s self-mastery and how each step they take will be for the greater good.

Today, we will shed light on Type 5s and we will investigate and observe how they could behave in the political arena.

Understanding Type 5’s Essence

Type 5s are a curious and insightful bunch. Hoarding knowledge like a camel’s relationship with water, they are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and hone specific skillsets. With that said, their worldview is: “I need to be in the know, while conserving scarce resources.”

Being self-sufficient and independent comes at a cost of emotional detachment. Their guards remain up to prevent against any form of intrusion of personal space because active participation and interaction with others can be draining. Being curious, Type 5s would rather observe and learn; leaving them rather uncaring for the emotions of others.

All in all, at their best, Type 5s are visionary pioneers and often ahead of their time, which could possibly be what we all need especially in this post-pandemic world.

Type 5 Strengths:

  • The thirst for knowledge is real. They are highly motivated by their desire to accumulate knowledge. Being innovative and inventive can lead them to be preoccupied with their thoughts and have very vivid imaginations. This allows Type 5s to the world in a wholly new way.
  • Social validation is unimportant. They pursue mastery of knowledge they feel is of use and distinguishes them from the rest. The need to master a particular field of expertise leaves them laser-focused and unconcerned on how people feel about their endeavours. In fact, they shy away from being too conventional. They are also great at compartmentalisation and this can easily translate to them not caring about social validation.
  • What crisis? Because 5s view their resources as scarce, they tend to conserve time, energy, resources, and knowledge. This tendency results in the ability to listen and be supportive of others while resisting the potential dramatics of emotions. Hence, they are usually calm and objective in a crisis.
  • You can count on me. They are often reliable and deliver their part provided they are aware of what is expected of them. The requirement to be furnished in full details of the project is crucial to ensure a resounding success on their behalf. One thing about 5s, they never over-promise and they take commitments seriously. Seeing through given tasks naturally gives them high scores on dependability.

Type 5 Weaknesses

  • Can be cynical and argumentative. If Type 5s are not kept in check with doses of reality, they can easily get lost in their imaginary construct. They begin to take an antagonistic stance towards the world and will behave abrasively to those who are not aligned with their views. 5s naturally compartmentalise and this makes it easier for them to disregard the feelings of others around them.
  • High-walls and withholding emotions. A lack of emotional involvement puts 5s in a spot where they behave rather impersonal to those around them. Because of their need to not deep-dive into a well of emotions as it could be taxing, they will appear aloof and find comfort in keeping to themselves. All in all, they may come off as arrogant and easily classified as lacking empathy. Not showing enough care may weaken relationships with 5s especially when this is coupled with regulated facial expressions (understand their need to conserve emotions when and where they can).
  • Slow in taking action. They tend to dwell so much on the information they have gathered. Because it is so important for 5s to get things right, project launches, for example, tend to get delayed because of the low confidence vote they may have and would rather wont for more time then to take the leap and let fate take charge.
  • Stingy with resources. They readily guard their thoughts, feelings and property in the perpetual fight for private survival. Volunteering to offer information is hard for them to accomplish. This can be perceived as lack of care and comes across as being selfish. Also, Type 5s tend to withdraw easily, taking back whatever resources they have put forth before.

What are the gifts a Type 5 politician bring to the table?

Decision-making is important in making policy making and ruling a nation. Type 5s need to investigate and research will allow them access to a host of information which is crucial before making an important choice. Should this be the case after the whole world has experience a pandemic and along with the rise of technology, there are so many ways to tackle an issue. Would a Type 5’s approach of deep observation give a solid solution to many of our existing societal problems today? Pivoting strategies with insightful data is something they are skilled at.

One great thing about them: They know what they’re doing, especially after a long process of analysing, studying and strategising. Now, all they require is a full team to march forward together.

Examples of Type 5 Leaders

Of course these leaders have never done our Enneagram Tests but they’re believed to be Type 5s by many Enneagram teachers based on their beliefs, values, traits, and actions through historical and interview records.

(From left to right: Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg; all leaders in their own right)

What do these leaders have in common? You can agree it is their way of thinking that has led to revolutionary activities in the field of science, the rapid expansion of personal mobile technology, and the latest addition to our social circles: a community platform that can connect to people as far as the world wide web is able to reach. Their fascination with a focused subject has brought about life-changing concepts to everyone.

Wouldn’t you agree they are also ‘politicians’ in their respective industries?

We will continue to explore another Enneagram Type and what they can bring into the political arena tomorrow.

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Curious about your Enneagram type? Here’s a quick overview of the 9 Types. I know reading through these descriptions can be confusing. So save yourself from second-guessing and figure out your type with the help of our online test.

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Curious about your Enneagram type? Here’s a quick overview of the 9 Types. I know reading through these descriptions can be confusing. So save yourself from second-guessing and figure out your type with the help of our online test.

“Losing” Your Enneagram Type (Part 2 of 3)

If the Enneagram is a tool for personal growth, is there a “right” or ethical way of using it?

A lot of times we hear people say, “I’m a Type X, therefore I’m behaving this way.” The first rule for the ethical use of the Enneagram: Your Enneagram Type is not an excuse to justify your bad behaviour. In fact, what my co-coach rightly said: The aim of knowing your Type is to “loose” and “lose” it.

Previously, we’ve listed the ways you can use the Enneagram as a tool for your personal growth and how to tap into the energy of your non-dominant wing (for Types 1, 2 and 3). If somehow missed you that, click here to read it.

Type 4

  • If you have a 3 Wing

A Type 4 with a 3 wing combines the creativity of the 4 plus the extroverted energy, charisma and goal to succeed of a Type 3. At their best, they’re able to create things and capture the hearts of a particular audience in mind. In times of stress, they can be extremely moody and consumed by how others think of them and envy will come into play.  The less dominant wing 5 reminds them to stick to the facts and not focus heavily on how they feel. And that it’s hugely beneficial to practice looking at things in a whole context and objectively than in a subjective way.

  • If you have a 5 Wing

A Type 4 with a 5 wing are more introverted and intellectually withdrawn compared to the Type 4 with a 3 wing. Don Richard Riso said that 4w5’s “create more for themselves”. They want to be authentic with what they want to create. In times of stress, they can be extremely withdrawn by disconnecting from their work and relationships and be consumed in their fantasies. If they tap into their non-dominant 3 wing, it encourages them to be out there, make meaningful connections with people and showcase their talents, findings and learnings.

Type 5

  • If you have a 4 Wing

A Type 5 with a 4 wing are independent, more introverted, introspective and are more in touch with their feelings compared to the 5w6. At their best, they’re able to participate in life and go on innovative exploration while having an objective insight. During stress, they would retreat into a place of safety while trying to uncover the “truth”. The less dominant wing 6 reminds them to seek wisdom from others with more experience and not just rely on the data they’ve researched on. From there, they can organise the information then create a strategy (or even a few back up ones) from it.

  • If you have a 6 Wing

A Type 5 with a 6 wing uses their observation and organisation skills to figure things out. At their best, they’re able to overcome the fear of intrusion of personal space and finds satisfaction in genuine relationships. In times of stress, they may experience “analysis paralysis” – unable to make a decision and take action. The non-dominant 4 wing inspires this type to look at what matters to them- to get in touch with themselves and their emotions and that there’s place to consider feelings and be subjective when making decisions.

Type 6

  • If you have a 5 Wing

A Type 6 with a 5 wing is reserved, perceptive, logical and are great trouble-shooters. At their best, they have quiet confidence within themselves, feels relaxed and certain and turns into a warm and deeply loving person. In times of stress, paranoia gets the best of them and will be tempted to retreat in a safe place. They may also start to blame others for a temporary release of anxiety. The non-dominant 7 wing reminds them to lighten up and think about the best possible outcome and the good that could come out of the situation. Sometimes, one needs to trust that life has great things to offer, learn to “roll with it” and have fun in going through this journey called life.

  • If you have a 7 Wing

A Type 6 with a 7 wing is engaging, supportive, friendly and are always looking for people for guidance and support. Unlike 6w5, 6w7 people are less serious and prefer talking about light-hearted topics. At their best, they’re warm and thoughtful in their relationships – the desperate longing for security is converted to inner strength. When struggling, they would be driven by anxiety and insecurity – they will look for someone to help them and will try anything to escape the situation. The non-dominant 5 wing inspires them to have more trust in themselves, rather than to look for solutions in people. They also need to divert their attention to look at the facts and data, not focus on the “what if’s” of the situation.

Next week, we’ll discuss the remaining types (7, 8, and 9) on how they could use their non-dominant wing and improve on their self-mastery level.

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Curious about your Enneagram type? Here’s a quick overview of the 9 Types. I know reading through these descriptions can be confusing. So save yourself from second-guessing and figure out your type with the help of our online test.